ssooo

yesterday i asked the manager if i can get a new roommate but cuz her contract she cant really move out itd be ME but thats not fair so ugh im just gonna have to suck it up. luckily she hasnt really been snoring lately so ive been able to get decent sleep for once. and i told her how i felt and it seems shes trying to be more quiet which is good.

and i made guacamole yesterday but it wasnt as good as the stuff my mom makes and i couldnt find tortilla chips so i used this veggie flavored or something doritos

today i had a job interview for taco bell lol. but it was at the main office in the business district. i got kinda lost but i kept talking to my mom on LINE and she was telling the ppl i'll be a bit late even though i basically got there like right on time. but this was WAY better than the interview for the monster cafe. it was just me n the boss and he was really nice like they already understand im not super good at japanese and have a limited vocabulary. so i still tried my best to understand and respond in japanese but if i really didnt know id tell him i don't understand and he'd sorta explain in english a bit. but since its food service, i'll have to cut my nails!! noooooooooo!!!!

ugh it just sucks cuz i have fat short fingers so long nails make them look longer n slimmer not ugly. but he said nail art is ok, just it has to be short. so i have to cut them then call him again then i'll go to another interview at the actual place i guess and i'll probably get the job he seems to like me and said he wants me working for them and stuff. i applied to a nail salon but this job will prob be easier and not so draining. idk the pay but for the salon is like $11 an hour starting instead of commission. but at the restaaurant prob around $10 i'd assume.

on halloween i have work with the skool ppl again then after go to shibuya my friend im going with is being a butt saying he forgot and is doing something else so he'll be there later(which i guess is ok cuz it'll prob be going on all night) but ugh i wanted to eat dinner n stuff together like after my job i wanna go straight to shibuya not go home for a bit so im seeing if any other friends wanna go with me.

dead

im just dead inside. thats all there is. thats all i feel. dead.

im just dealing with so much crap right now(not just the roommate, but other ppl and stuff too) where im at the point i cant sleep anymore. i mean, im tired, but i cant fall asleep. i just lay down and close my eyes. but im still awake. this has been going on for at least 5 days already. im just so exhausted. im never truly happy anymore. last night i literally cried myself to sleep(well i didnt sleep but you know). everytime i feel down in the dumps i like doing tarot card reading because they are always right. what i want most right now is death, which means ending everything, start anew, a change. 

thats it. thats all i want right now. a fresh new start and ending this current crap life

anyways, thats my bit of my depression for now...so moving on

since my pasmo was expiring on the 23rd, decided to travel a bit before i have to start paying full price for everything. so thursday went to futakotamagawa because ive always wanted to go to the river there. i went alone. but its ok. i was just relaxing looking at the water

i found a nice area to sit all alone and there were some cats i was stalking but they dont like me.

i got hungry and asked my mom whats good food nearby i can eat and she told me about this cheap katsu place in the next station. it was really cold because i didnt have a jacket and was tempted to just go home, but im glad i dealt with it and went to the restaurant! it was so delicious and only 500 yen!! too bad if i wanna go again i have to pay for transportation T_T

friday, i headed to akihabara one last time for a while since i havent been there since comiket

and i went alone again. my friend wouldve come but was busy but whatever otakus are too shy to come up to a pretty girl like me so didnt need to worry about ppl talking to me. but i bought some diabolik lovers stuff and something else but i forgot...

and that was my last day of pasmo T_T

so saturday going to shibuya wasnt free anymore but its not too expensive i guess...

so went to shibuya to meet my friend i made from the face painting gig since she likes gyaru too

actually on halloween the same school asked me to work for them again and i will cuz its good pay, easy, and fun! even though i dont really like kids i like their chubby cheeks!! then after that, back to shibuya for that big street event!!

anyways after met my friend went to SBY to get a snack since i was starving

they had a halloween menu so i decided to try the crepe. eh it was ok. the other crepes they have are better this was pretty plain..

since we were in the 109 tower just window shopping looking at all the nice clothes we cant buy

when i make money i can prob buy something here

also at book off in the used clothes store i found one of those hobo looking jackets for $12!!! ive always wanted one plus i know im gonna need to buy a heavy jjacket one day since it gets really cold in the winter(its already in the 60s) so it was perfect and i bought it im so happy!

i didnt have much money on me, so after i bought the jacket i was poor but was hungry so bought the cheapest thing at burger king which was a $4 meal but it still fills me up even if its kinda small(the drink is SMALLER than happy meal size)

and before we split took a purikura together but i couldnt get them to get on my phone oh well

heres how i look. i actually curled my hair

and yesterday went to yoyogi park with zac except i wore a pretty thin long sleeve shirt but it was really windy so it seemed colder than it really was and i was freezing. but i basically just ranted to him about everything. i felt a bit better but in the end i was still miserable.

lol on thursday i have an interview at tacobell. idc anymore. i like tacobell and my mom says its good pay so why not and they know i'm not that good at japanese so we'll see...

i also have to send a resume to a nail salon my mom applied for me. but im kinda scared to work at a nail salon here since the quality here is so much higher than america.

well, lets see how the rest of the week will be.

UUGHHH

sorry for complaining all the time but it feels like summer of 2014 all over again

like im starting to feel all depressed again cuz my roommate situation is just stressing me out!!! like im sure shes a nice person n all, but i just can't LIVE with her!! the first day she came, she asked what time i go to bed. i said around midnight and she told me she goes to bed like 10/11ish. but ugh like cuz shes not working she goes to bed like 2am everyday. that alone doesnt really bother me cuz the lights are off and i'm playing my ds and she messing around on her phone so i prob actually try to sleep 12:30-1ish but like shes one of those japanese ppl that like talk to themselves. so sometimes she like reads stuff out loud, like yeah she whispers it but why not just stay silent. and she tosses and turns in her bed a LOT and that bed is really creaky and makes lots of noise. and i guess last night she was talking to some friend for hours cuz i keep hearing the vibrating ssound of her phone. like girl you may think your quiet but your not!! i couldnt not sleep last night until she FINALLY decideds to go to sleep idk wat time it was but its gotta be after 2 prob close to 3. and its just REALLY ANNOYING cuz she would take a nap like everyday around 7pm for like an hour at least no wonder ur not tired. i try to get up by 10 cuz i dont like sleeping in all day like SHE does. srsly she sleeps so much i have no idea why shes so tired all the time. i woke up at 11 today only cuz i was tired from lack of sleep last night n im still so exhausted right now. i really wanted to just be like GO TO BED ALREADY but like i dont know her well enough to be 'mean' to her. like you know when u met someone new for the first week or 2 or w/e you guys are all super polite to eachother until you feel more comfortable to start joking around and whatnot. well shes still pretty much a stranger to me so i feel like i cant scold he and stuff and just give her a piece of my mind like i really want to. and if she would get up at night to get a drink or something she makes so much noise stomping her feet and stuff. like my old roommate told me i did that cuz my slippers are noisy so in the room i dont really wear them and if shes sleeping i try to be quiet but its like she dont care. shes just not really considerate to the other person living there. i have no idea how she doesnt have a job yet cuz shes had like 10 interviews already like wtf. either she needs to get a job or i nedd to cuz i cant stand being in the same room all day with her so if she doesnt have plans n just stays home all day i feel like i HAVE to go out and take a walk or buy groceries or SOMETHING to get away from her for a while. like the big share room on the 3rd floor is still open ugh why cant she move there instead. like i told my mom about this and she says maybe i can switch rooms but why does it have to be ME that moves?? like i was there first. i wanna complain to the manager about her but idk if its enough of a reason you know?? and i would hear her talking to her interview boss or something on the phone sometimes and shes like 'yeah i live with foreigners and speak english everyday and my english is business level' and crap like she really only speaks to me in the whole house n we dont even talk that much. i dont think i really said anything to her today cuz im pissed off at the moment. like is that why you came to my room instead of the probably japanese girl on the 3rd floor?? like ok another thing she doesnt even cook at all!!! like every single day if she doesnt eat out with a friend she buys instant noodles or something to eat. and breakfast? goes to the vending machine and buys some pastry. every. day. and she eats in our room. like ok sometimes i eat in our room too but usually i eat downstairs especially if shes in the room too. but like i said, she doesnt cook so just brings her instant stuff back her so doesnt socialize at all. like i dont really talk much to other ppl here either but i still know who these ppl are and im sure they know who i am too. i dont really cook the fanciest meals but just basic stuff you know? she asked wat i ate one day n i told her spaghetti and she looked so suprised like its some really complex meal or something you literally add noodles to water thats it. like your OLDER than me you should know how to cook!!!!! its also annoying cuz we have internet in our room so thats another reason y she never leaves. like i admit the wireless internet downstairs is pretty crappy but all she does is watch her japanese shows on youtube. i just download my anime then watch it on my bed she she can use internet. also a couple times a week she'd talk on the phone to her friends or w/e and like i dont really mind cuz its in japanese so it just gets like blocked out n stuff but she talks pretty loud and like my old roommate if she had to use the phone she'd go downstairs or something you know being polite and stuff but her? nooope just stays here talking for an hour or 2. and on the balcony she has 3 clothes hanger things that take up like half the space and all my stuff got pushed to the corner where you gotta go outta the way to reach it and put hers right in front of the door so you dont gotta move much and she always leaves like half her cloths hanging even if it raining or something she never brings them in unless she has to take it down for new clothes to dry. before me n linh shared our hangers so there was still lots of room and sunlight was able to come in the room n stuff but all her clothes like block out the sun and ugh. i swear one day im just gonna snap and unleash everything on her like im this close to losing it right now and its only been 2 or 3 weeks. i wanna wait til she(or me) gets a job and maybe it'll be better but right now im just in the crappiest mood. she should just get a single room or something idk. i dont wanna be the one that has to leave cuz thats not fair shes the one who came and ruined my life. also she smokes(not in the room but in the smoking room downstairs) but when she comes back to our room it stinks up the place but our window is open like 24/7 so it airs out yeah thats like the LEAST of my complaints tho.

just want new roommate. cant live with a person like this



on other news, yesterday did another job for voice recording and got $50 for 1 hour work

job and meet up

so monday i had a face painting job for this international kindergarten

it was a hoiday in japan on monday so many children everywhere. i got a bit lost trying to find the booth but eventually i found it there was another girl doing face painting too

and it was SO BUSY!!! we both worked the whole time. the only breaks we got was our 2 30 minute breaks and other than that work work work. mustve painted at least 50 faces but they were all pretty simple. lots of kids wanted the same things. but it was fun. it didnt feel like a 'job' so thats good. and i made about $12 an hour thats pretty good. im glad i made moneyyyy but i need a stable job not just a 1 day thing

but cuz i was bending over all my day my back hurts n idk why my thighs burn too. my whole body aches actually but whatever im used to this pain cuz pedicures

and they said if they ever need volunteers that they will contact me

and the other girl who did face paint likes gyaru n stuff too so we are prob gonna hang out at shibuya during the weekend

and yesterday i met up with the bloggers vivi and paris. i've been following vivi for a couple of years already and she said she was coming to japan n im in japan so why not meet up?

so we went to harajuku together and they were both so sweet

we were originally planning of going to the kawaii monster cafe but we were unsure of the seating charge and didnt really wanna spend lots of money there especially since the menu doesnt look that appetizing  so we skipped it and just walked around and ate some lunch at a family restaurant.

also went to kiddyland and it was actually my first time there. ive walked past it before but never really cared to go in cuz i thought it was just a hello kitty store but they have lots of other characters too

and we saw this guy who had like 10 cats in some stroller they were so cute!

but they mightve been drugged or something cuz they looked really sleepy and outta it

we went to starbucks afterwards and i dont really care for coffee but some some vanilla frappe and it was really good

and omg i need to go back to this starbucks to chill again cuz it was so nice! like this big outdoor area to just sit around and cuz the sun was setting the view was so pretty

we were prob there for like an hour just relaxing

and paris was telling some bathroom story of how he saw a guy pooping in a urinal. i will never forget this omg

afterwards went to take purikuraaaa

too bad the machine we took didnt have any full body shots

and i tried doing the code thing to get it on my phone but they didnt give out a free one which is stupid oh well

then we went to shibuya for a bit and walked around and looked for a place to eat

i wanted something light and sweet so bought a parfait

yummy~

then we said goodbye afterwards and went home and my body was really sore and my eyes were burning lol i sleep good last night

tomorrow i might go to my friends house to play video games. lol my leos are my kingdom hearts buddies

ugh

sorry my new roommate is driving me crazy. i have like no personal space to just relax anymore cuz shes always in the room. waaahh

omg this week i found out my dad is a GEMINI omg that was like life changing news all this time i thought he was a cancer lol. but i think me n my dad get along well

i also painted my nails for halloween!! 

billy and mandy nails!!!

this was one of my favorite cartoons growing up and the halloween episode was one of the best

the only bad thing is its only been a few days but they are like already starting to peel? well more like lifting off at the tips but i'm trying not to pick at it cuz i spend lots of hours doing these types of nails. dont want al that time to go to waste.

i think its cuz earlier this week i went to the hot spring and i stayed there for like 3 hours so maybe the heat messed them up idk

i hope they last til halloween but i dont think so.....but who knows. the main character nails are ok its the others that arent too good

yesterday i went to ikebukuro with my japanese friend but idk i don't like him so much. i dont really care to hang with him but i feel bad if i dont cuz i already made up an excuse before and i cant keep doing it so w/e

had to buy my otome merch that made me happy at least

i told him beforehand that i might take a while n he might get bored but he said its ok

and there was some dance festival going on in ikebukuro too so watched some of it

it was hard to see cuz too many ppl in front but then we went to a different place and there was a different more 'old ppl' dance and i got a good spot so took nice pics. the other dance was more modern but all my pics and videos of them arent that good

then ate pretzels and checked parco out for the anime stores.

afterwards we didnt know what to do so im just like yeah i'll head home now

we didnt hang out that long but ehhh

anyways heres what i bought!

the game jewelic nightmare!!!!

ive been wanting this foreverrrrr!!!!! and it was like 21$!!! its cheaper than the one in nakano which was $25 and like i plan on buying this game eventually so im like what the heck take my money now

plus its the limited edition so comes with bonus stuff yaaay

i played some of it last night n i love it so far! i love the music too!!! but the text is kinda hard for me to read. its kinda blurry compared to the other otome games i have so reading the kanji is a bit difficult to recognize.

and some hakuouki drama CDs, harada plushie, ayato keychain for brooke, and they had toki no kizuna stuff too and i actually found something of my hubby senkimaru HHNNGGGG

everything besides the game was $1 eeeeppp

when it comes to this kind of stuff just take my money i dont even care

tomorrow i paint faces at a school. its 1 day but at least i get money

i'll ask them if they have any job openings after

and next week im doing some voice recording for like $50 for an hour whoop whoop

but i need a steady job >_<

nakano again

on saturday my roommate moved out wahhh. but i was kinda glad cuz i get the room all to myself

but

i already have a new roommate waaahhhh!!

like come one i wanted at least a few days for myself but the very next day a new person moved in. like shes nice n all and shes japanese so i can practice with her but shes 28 so shes kinda old.....

i wish my roommate would be someone more closer to my age. yeah the manager should consider that kind of stuff cuz like wat if it was some 30 yr old women like uuuhhh no offence but i dont really wanna live with old ppl. like if a room is available and a 19 year old girl is living there and a 35 year old women checks it out yeah i dont think she should...know what i mean?? ok 7 years aint that big of a deal but im just saying

there are some pretty old looking ppl here but im sure they have single rooms but if its shared it SHOULD be with someone in their age range but whateverrrrrr. since shes japanese that prob means shes gonna be staying for a while..

BUT ANYWAYS

also on saturday went to nakano broadway again with my friend idris. he lives in nakano yet hes never been to nakano broadway. and duuude that one really cheap game store is like gone. the past 2 times ive gone i havent seen it noooooo

but yeah so i bought more otome trash. some hakuouki keychains and they actually had some THE DOG stuff and my inner 10 year was crying out to buy one so i did. 

and i saw a video how in the basement floor theres this ice cream place thats popular and you can get a really huge ice cream for 400 something yen and thats a good deal but i dont like all the flavors it had so i just got a medium sized choco/vanila

my friend got the huge one but cuz the angle it looks kinda the same size

anyways after nakano we just walked around cuz it was 6ish n i didnt wanna go home yet cuz it would be crowded on the trains at this time so we looked for a park or something to just chill

and we came across this university and omg the campus was so nice and clean n pretty

like in the animes

idk but where im from skools n stuff are kinda dirty so this is a change

and theres these cement block/stairs/benches idk that ppl can just hang out on so we did and talked about w/e for like an hour then went to 100 yen store n went home

and still looking for job. prob doing some face paint gig next week but thats 1 day only so need something permanent 

graduation

so i'm no longer in skool!!!

i was a bit nervous about my score cuz the reading and listen test omg i did so bad(well its like 50/60 but thats bad for me) but overall i still passed wheeeeee

so on tuesday we had the graduation and skool party

heres a pic of all the students from different levels that are leaving the school

and the teachers are there too

after the party me n idris went to just chill in shinjuku

i havent really been there cuz to me theres not really much to do there besides shopping but theres the otomate store n stuff i wanted to check out n its close to shibuya so why not

we walked around a lot and i was wearing heels so by the end of the day i was DEAD

anyways at the otomate store they actually had toki no kizuna stuff n i was freaking out aaahhhhh but like i WAS gonna buy a folder of my fav guy but it was stupid cuz its like 450 yen but all the other clear files of other titles are like a hundred yen cheaper wtf plus idk if im really gonna use it cuz i dont gots skool anymore so decided not to buy. they had keychains too but only of chitose if it was senkimaru chyeaaaa i would buy it take my money

honestly idk how we even ended up spending the whole day in shinjuku i dont think we really did much

there was some shrine that we checked out

idk what the bells are for but i rang them anyways and did my prayer wishing for a good job n success n stuff

later we drank boba(or bolba?) w/e cuz it was cheap and delicious. then ate auntie annes pretzels cuz they have it in japan!! and its basically like the same price as america thank goodness. 

and we ate outside n some old guy went up to me n asked if i was japanese or chinese n i said im american. i told my mom about it n she said hes prob trying to scout bar girls or something

anyways the next day my whole body was aching it was like post disneyland day all over again n i was completely drained by claire FINALLY  was responding and said she can hang n even though i really didnt feel like it, it was her last day in japan and i mean, i might see her one day in the future but who knows how long that may be so i hung out. we sand karaoke one last time and then played DDR

then ate at our sushi place together for the last time T_T

like the last 2 weeks of skool she just went M.I.A and wasnt responding to anyone so yeah. at least i got to see her one last time

and been looking for jobs here n there. i applied to some teaching job but idk if i'll get it but my friend says her place is hiring so i'll apply there too. now that skool is out i need a job to keep myself busy so i can make money n but more things id like instead of just food

thats all